11/14 comics

Far be it for me to proofread a comic (then again, I'm already queering them, translating them, and teaching them how to canoe), but as someone who's dabbled in the freelance copy editing in the past and who edits all sorts of writing for cool gay blog, I just can't over look that your/you're mistake in panel one. You'd be surprised what intelligent and creative writers make that mistake.

Of course, United Features Media should have someone on top of that. I'm guessing that Rose is Rose is so diabeticly sweet that s/he can't even stand to read the text to find errors in several dozen words, and neither can the writer.


I'll ignore the big ol' period after "find" as just an unfortunate blotch on the paper (post-Photoshop there's really no excuse, but, *sigh*), and focus instead on the recipe... what exactly is this Plugger reading? Polenta, orzo, tahini, and jicama? That sounds less "coastal, librul, big-city, Kerry-votin', gay-marryin', war-protestin' froo-froo food" and more "things mixed together like condiments at a junior high school cafeteria and then people are dared to eat." Gross.


"He's taking all the line"? "Keep the pressure on"? "Rod tip up"? "He's huge"?

This is intentional at this point, right? Or did RMMD writer Woody Wilson has been spending too much time on the Nifty. (Link NSFW)

11/13 comics

I remember when I first came out to myself, as the kids are calling it these days, way back when puberty hit. Growing up in exurban/small town Indiana, I really didn't know what to do with it. I had a vague idea that I would wait until college before anything really happened in terms of sexuality. That's what I thought in junior high, and high school changed things around a little....

But it seems that Jeffy is having similar thought,s albeit at a younger age. Hang in there, Jeffy! There'll be great boys, I mean, toys to play with in college!


This Pluggers answers one of the biggest questions that I have about the Plugger-verse: Can anyone just send in whatever yo mama joke they've heard or insult they've received and get published?

The answer is an unequivocal "yes".

Qomics for Everybody but Me Edition

Even though there are occasionally actual queer references in the comics, I still feel like there's a comic for everyone out there in the world but me! Here are a few examples of all the cool groups of people for whom there are comics:


There are comics for anarchists:



Comics for people who haven't heard of primary elections:



Comics for the obsessive-compulsive:



Comics for people who find Peter Parker sexy:



Comics for 5-year-olds (haha, poop is funny!):



Comics for PETA propagandists:



Comics for demon-possessed dog owners:



Comics for people who have followed Blondie long enough to notice every detail of Dagwood's outfit:



Comics for people who enjoy road-head:



And, finally, comics for horrid human/beast mutants who were never meant to be:


***

OK, and I have two others. First, Rex Morgan, M.D.:

Yeah, why didn't he? I mean, she's a woman, answering the door and showing her face to who knows what men, and he's off thinking that his new bride is safe in the cabin. Doesn't she know her place?

But all this talk of newlyweds spending an entire week alone in a cabin has one thing on Niki's mind, as he looks right at it in panel three. Sit tight, there, Niki! Soon Rex'll get you to that cabin!


And BC:

OK, here we have a dating service with a woman behind a desk in its proper context: 20,000 years in the past. No, wait, I mean 5-6000! Sorry, BC, I forgot that the world is no more than 6000-years-old!

Pluggers

You're a Plugger if you can't quite grasp the "Put grounds here" and the "Put water there" concepts.

Friday's Pluggers

"Pluggers are too stupid to realize that their husband's indiscretions are what's behind mysterious credit card charges with no receipts or explanations."

I believe the man-dog's facial expression catches it all.

Pluggers Inferno!

Pluggers. 'Nuf said.


7/21:

Try to unthink the naked sleeping Pluggers. Naked sleeping Pluggers in your bathroom. Naked sleeping Pluggers in your bed. Mmmmmmmmmm.... That's what gets me going: obese genetic freak beast-people who were never meant to be, all naked.

On second thought, that only makes sense if by "going" I meant "vomiting".


7/30:

Wherein Cal Ripkin Jr. sued Pluggers creator Brookins for defamation.


8/1:

So a kangaroo gave birth to a dog? Is that the real joke? Is Pluggers pushing the "God's joke on humanity" angle instead of the "actually funny joke" angle today?

Saturday's Pluggers

There's something deeply disconcerting about seeing Rhino Guy here in shorts. It's like we finally see that he has a human body, even though his head is down like a rhino would to do to stampede. This comic has always provided sick and twisted drawings of animals that were never meant to be, almost begging you to put them out of their unnatural pain, but if we ever see a naked plugger and learn just how the rhino head morphs into a human body, I think I may have to take drastic measures (like not reading Pluggers anymore).

HA! NAKED PLUGGERS! Try to unthink that one!

Pluggers

AK! The Pluggers are possessed! Kangaroo Lady, get a minister who knows how to exorcise demons! Obese Rhino Guy, grab a Bible and start reading Psalms, stat! Elderly Bear Plugger, we need holy water... WE NEED HOLY WATER!

Ummmm... *ahem* Maybe I reacted too soon. I suppose the real joke is: "Pluggers don't have a good vocabulary, but they think up alternative ways of getting by."

But what's really important here is that we're seeing some Plugger infidelity. Oh, you didn't think that I was following the relationship structure of the social elite of Pluggerdom, did you? Yeah, I noticed that these genetic mishaps are all straight for some reason, but I also noticed that Obese Dog Man isn't married to Obese Dog Woman. (And "Sexy" Dog Woman isn't related to either, and neither is Elderly Dog Man for that matter, who, for some reason, is the grandfather of Bear Cub Plugger.) Oh, no, Obese Dog Man is married to Chicken Lady. Check out the proof here and here. And this one, from May 11:

Yeppers, Pluggers aren't always honest lovers, but who can blame them? If my dog ever got that close to a chicken he'd probably eat it.

So in the original comics I'd imagine "whatchamacallit" means "buttplug", "whatnots" means "bullwhips", and "thingamajig" means "dungeon". Then it could be retagged "Pluggers' sex lives are always more exciting than their day jobs."

One-line explanations of Saturday's comics

Dick Tracy:

In the DT universe, God is a woman, a blond, square-jawed woman.


Momma:

Momma's fast life of degrading her children to their faces every day catches up with her.


Pluggers:

Ray Miller thinks that Pluggers are disfunctionally stupid.


Beetle Bailey:

Beetle comes out to Zero, Zero made a derogatory generalization of gay men, Beetle defends himself and his people vaguely, and Zero responds like an ass.

Pluggers

Including Mase's own brand of slow hip hop!
Hmmm.... This might not have been what Chicken Lady and Obese Dog Guy were dancing too. But good golly that's an ugly picture there. Their hands are twice the size of their heads! And chickens don't even have hands! Neither do dogs for that matter!