Tuesday's Hagar the Horrible

Is it possible that Hagar is fucking Lucky Eddie right now, standing, both fully dressed? I mean, Hagar is standing right behind his sidekick, and they don't call him "Lucky" for nothing. If that's the case, then Eddie's panel two comment can be interpreted with "you" referring to Hagar, and "SMALL" as a reference to the size of Hagar's penis. Of course, I'd have no idea what to do with panel three, but neither do Hagar writers the Brownes for the that matter.

Hagar the Horrible

I wonder how many times Hagar's heard that before!

Oh! I'm here all night, folks! Catch the 10:30 show, all different material!

Thursday's Hagar the Horrible

This might be funny if there were a common restaurant menu item actually known as "Miss Prissy's raw vegetable salad delight" or something at least close to that. But that's not the point.

What is the point is the gender transgressive name there. The "Miss Prissy" is a rather feminine name, which I think is supposed to be the "joke" of this strip, but it's juxtaposed with the word "raw". Honestly I would be surprised if at least a majority of vegetables in a salad weren't raw, so I think this is supposed to inform the interpretation of this strip. When I think of "Miss Prissy" and "raw" right next to each other, I'm thinking someone knows how to spank and whip a boy like a real princess. (Hmmmm... maybe that image coming up first says more about me than it does about this comic.) Hagar and his crew, sans Lucky Eddie, have walked into a restaurant operated by an S&M dom with a kooky sense of humor. And they're mad about that, for some reason.

That joke, to me, is pretty funny. I want to go to a restaurant run by a kooky S&M dom!

Qomics for Queers: Beating around the Bush

Did you ever notice that Comic strips fall far behind every other medium out there when it comes to any representation of queer people? Sure, the political cartoons seem to realise we exist, but the joke-a-days and soaps printed in mainstream papers do everything to can to pretend like there are no queer people.

Which is why I started Qomics for Queers over at Q-Bomb, where I read between the lines, reinterpret artwork, and completely make junk up to get some representation.


Here's this Friday's Apartment 3-G:


For those of you who don't follow the travails of Tommie Thomson, LuAnn Powers, and Margo Magee at Apartment 3-G, then you've missed most of the Friday that Never Ends. LuAnn and Margo are both away from the apartment that evening working, and Tommie is left to her own devices. Of course, without the women she lives with, her life is meaningless until her neighbor Gina whisks her away to her play and the ensuing cast party. At that party, Tommie makes out with the director, only to be pawned of on our friend Gary, seen above.

Now you're all caught up on the greatest telenovela to ever grace the funny pages!

While people have been following the closeted lesbianism of Tommie Thomson for years, I don't think we've ever seen her definitively express herself one way or the other. Sure she's kissed a few men drunk, made a few sly looks at women, and generally tried to be the non-sexual one of the bunch.

Now, dressed as a character from a Lynne Cheney novel, Tommie is face-to-face with a man who's hitting on her, who by all accounts is sweet, but something's missing, a spark, a certain je ne sais vagina. When this party is all said and done (maybe four weeks from now?), Tommie's going to be thinking about why she subconsciously thwarts chances at heterosexual love every time they come her way. And then, and only then, can we celebrate Tommie and Gina's new romance.


This Wednesday's Hagar the Horrible:


Not particularly gay, except that have you noticed that most of the Hagar-at-the-restaurant-making-fun-of-food-and/or-pop-culture strips involve Lucky Eddie instead of Helga? One can only wonder why Lucky Eddie prefers to dine with his boss instead of his family or friends or why Hagar doesn't go out with Helga.

I know, I know, he travels a lot for work, but I don't think that in between raiding the English and pillaging the French that he would have time to stop at a restaurant without anyone else from his army. Nor would a blood-thirsty viking be welcome in those just pillaged countries' restaurants. No, this has to be near home. And that's the same waiter who serves Helga and him.

I can only imagine what life would be like as a closeted viking, constantly escaping home life as resentment towards heteronormativity builds, all the while finding my only relief in a member of my own army. Of course, in my imagination, we wouldn't sit around at restaurants and make jokes that fit easily into a two panel setup, one panel punchline format.

Alas, I'm not a student of viking history.


Here's this Tuesday's Family Circus:


Jeffy doesn't stop! He continues to attempt to defend himself from castration! Good work, Mom, because you know that snowball is destined for the back of your head.