Saturday's soaps

I know what that smirk on Sophie's face in panel two means: I'm gonna get trashed.

I went to college in a really wine-y area, the Walla Walla River valley in Washington state. I got to know a few of the wine folk, and I found out that all the bouquets and grapes and degrees in viticulture and history and culture was all an elaboration on a fundamental urge to get drunk. The fact that most of the JP action has occurred while imbibing in the alcohol is absolutely no surprise, and a pretty good way to stay culturally relevant on the creators' part.

What I don't get is how Sam's insanely sexy sexiness saved the day. Seriously, I don't think Rusty was that drunk.



Go Ms. Bowlcut/Mullet in panel three! She can defy gravity while cheering with her terrible hairstyle! Greatest Gil Thorp cheerleader ever!



It's like a dirty Zen Koan: What she a trick or a treat? Yes! Is your goodie bag empty or full? Yes!

A really, really dirty one. I can't believe this can be printed in papers. Is his "goodie bag" empty? Was Toni a trick?

Oh, my. Oh, my, indeed.



"Still alive! Even after I tried to strangle it with my right arm!"

Look at how that dog's trying to get away in panel two. "Put me down! I'm not dying, I was just sleeping! I don't want to wear a cravat!"

Sunday's Luann

Funny that this Luann should come out ten days after a study on the same subject that found:

Another stereotype — chatty gals and taciturn guys — bites the dust. Turns out, when you actually count the words, there isn't much difference between the sexes when it comes to talking.

A team led by Matthias R. Mehl, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, came up with the finding, which is published in Friday's issue of the journal Science. The researchers placed microphones on 396 college students for periods ranging from two to 10 days, sampled their conversations and calculated how many words they used in the course of a day.

The score: Women, 16,215. Men, 15,669.

The difference: 546 words: "Not statistically significant," say the researchers.

It's interesting because, as J. Goodrich points out, studies that show that men and women are different gain more traction in the media than those that don't. Since there was such a big hullabaloo over this study, and since it came out a little under two weeks ago, one has to wonder if the writer of Luann just chose to ignore it, misconstrue it, or if the comic was written right before it came out and she he now feels a little silly.

I suppose that writing Luann would make someone constantly feel silly, so that's not that big of a deal.

Tuesday's Luann

Ok, this plotline has pretty much summed up everything I don't get about heterosexuals. Now, don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are straight. I even have straight parents! But this, I don't know. That's why I sometimes do

QOMICS FOR HETS!!!

Considering the plot for the last two weeks was about cooking, I understand that the way T.J. makes risotto is more important to his relationship possibilities with Toni than his personality, looks, career, or really anything else. OK, I can deal with that. But for some reason, she's rejecting the all-important risotto and questioning Brad's commitment to a non-existent relationship with her based on his actions from like a month ago, taken comically out of context.

To take this one step further, why didn't Toni just think it's hot to see him kissing someone else? I mean, if I saw a guy I dug making out with someone else who's pretty hot as well, I could get into that. It just seems strange to hold that against him when they weren't in a relationship or anything.

Is this what straight men mean when they say, "Women! Can't live with them, can't live without them?" Or maybe it's him that's more perplexing, saying "honest talk" when he really means "hot sex".

OK, and one more mystery. I use Wikipedia to look up character names I don't know, and can anyone tell me why Luann's is better developed than any other comic out there? Scary stuff to think that Luann has the biggest cult following on the funny pages.

Wednesday's Luann

When Luann can't even keep its misogynist stereotypes straight, then the patriarchy has been challenged.

Luann

Clay Aiken? Well, that's a step above the previous guy, Gunther.

If by Gunther she means the mulletted Swedish techno sensation!! (video NSFW)



If Luann had a crush on this Gunther, that would be one of the weirdest but most awesome storylines in that strip ever. And if she eventually touched his tra-la-la, oh, maaaaaaaan.