Friday, May 4, 2007

Beetle Bailey

I know the "joke" here is that Sarge thinks Beetle's so lazy that he is nearly clinically dead (his brain hasn't died, but if his heart has stopped, his brain isn't too far behind). But consider for a moment that Beetle actually went to the doctor. I could see Sarge making the aforementioned joke and the Beetle would have a witty comeback and then be decapitated by one of Sarge's voilent fits of rage. So I'm guessing that's not what happened.

No, Sarge made a jibe at Beetle that stung even deeper because Beetle found it to be a little true, and a little embarrassing. The only situation where Sarge would be concerned about Beetle having excessively low blood flow would of course be that he can't have an erection. While this is a strange way to talk to a doctor about erectile disfunction, there's no other way to broach it (hey, Doc, I'm fucking my superior officer of the same sex... why am I being discharged?), especially for someone without a medical background who might think that ED is caused by low blood pressure or a slow pulse.

But there's even more TMI here. One of the joys of being a versatile gay guy having sex with another versatile gay guy is that if one penis is down, there's always a back-up. If the average guy can't get it up 5% of the time (I have no idea what the real percentage is), then two vers gay guys would only have to give up on anal one in 400 times. Awesome, I know. But since Beetle's erection is so important to sex that he needs to go to a doctor when he loses it, we know that he always tops.

Strange, since I would have thought it was the other way around.

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